The DeVil Treatment

By John Vodopija


Prologue: "Silence"
"Silence, all around me! The silence is closing in! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
Cadpig was bounced from her sleep to see Tripod in a cold pant.
"Down boy, it'll be ok. It was just a dream." Even Cadpig had to admit they were coming down with crate fever, and hard!
Chapter one: "I Wanna Be sedated!"
All of the other 97 Dalmatians felt sorry for the two incarcerated pups. So they all did their part to help them out. Cadpig's friend's friend Wags came up Tuesday night with a small chew toy when no one was looking, and they could trust Rolly to slide them something extra from his not-so-secret stash of treats. Part of the punishment laid down by Pongo and Perdy was that the Tripod and Cadpig were to only have the dry style dog food, as opposed to their normal half can and half kibble mixture.
"Geez (1) this is so (2) unfair! (3) Two-Tone double (4) dog dared me (5) and she isn't (6) in the (7) clink with us. (8)" Tripod continued with his sit-ups while Cadpig butted in.
"Well just think we never had a chance to bond before. You always gotta look for the bright side in everything. Like this game I saw on a movie once. So, ok, this girl was like all poor and stuff, and she wanted this doll. But she got crutches instead. And I was all like no way that would totally suck. But her dad was all well like feel lucky (giggle) that you don't need them and stuff. That made her feel like so good. And that is what this is like." Tripod paused for a moment. He shot her the oddest look.
"I think you've been hanging around Two-Tone too long." That was all it took to release all of the stress the two had been feeling for the last 5 days. They couldn't help but laugh and giggle until their sides ached. At one point Tripod couldn't catch his breath. It was one of those rare times when there was nothing to do BUT laugh. It was either that or cry.
Later that day Cadpig mumbled a tune to herself bobbing her head slightly back and forth to the beat. Every so often she whistled out the chorus then went back to mumbling. This annoyed Tripod to no end. It's not that he minded the mumbling or the whistling out of tune. It was just that he couldn't remember the name or any of the words to that song she was singing. Sometimes that's just as bad as out of tune whistling. Just then Cadpig gave him a hint by singing a few of the words.
"First I ran to you..." She sang bobbing her head to the beat looking at Tripod with a 'come one you know it' look on her face. All of a sudden the whole song came to him!
"Now I run from you..."
Then Cadpig joined in,
"This tainted love you've given. Take my fears and that's not nearly OHHHH tainted love. Bum, Bum, OHHHH. Tainted love!" They kept on singing at the top of their lungs until they ran out of words they knew then they switched to mumbling and whistling out of tune.

Chapter Two: "Trouble in Spot-town"
It had been 6 days since they were put into the crate, and for 6 days every day at Three O' Clock Roger came and let the puppies stretch their legs for a few minutes outside. Here it was the last day and it was for certain Three O' Clock and Roger came and let them out back where Cadpig and Tripod wandered around for a bit. They weren't supposed to have visitors so you could imagine Cadpig's surprise when she heard a "Psssst!" coming from the bush in the corner.
With inquisitive eyes she looked deeply into the bush.
"Hey Cadpig, how are ya holdin' up girl?" It was Spot!
"Good, what's my horoscope say today?" Cadpig asked. Spot had a feeling she'd say something like that. So she brought the newspaper, a mood ring, a fortune cookie fortune, and her daily affirmation calendar. Spot cleared her throat,
"Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)
Keep on your guard today, something or someone from your past just may come back to haunt you. Later on, live in the present and enjoy it with compatible people who have plenty in common with you. One of them may have an interesting moneymaking idea for you.
Is that it?"
"Oh Spot you've done more than you could ever know!" It was about that time when Roger came to scoop up the two dogs and put them back in their holding cell.
A look of dread came upon the dog's faces as they slowly entered the crate. Roger locked the rusty mechanism.
"Darn thing. Keeps getting jammed, uhhhh there we go!" He stood around for a second with his hand on his chin contemplating. "Oh yeah! That reminds me." Roger walked to the phone and dialed a number. This sparked Tripod's interest. He put his one front paw on the cage-like door so he could get in for a closer listen. Not wanting to be left out Cadpig crammed in beside him.
"Scoot over!" Tripod commanded. Apparently someone on the other side of the phone picked up and Roger started to speak.
"Hello? Yeah I was calling about the..."
"Ooof!" Tripod gasped as Cadpig shoved him to one side. "Stop it!" Things settled for a second and Tripod began to listen to Roger's conversation again.
"... yeah I think I want to give them the DeVil treatment. Uh huh, I have to they're just giving me too much trouble. They've been in this box all week! I can't do anything with them. Ok, tomorrow? Yeah, all right I'll sign for them. Ok, see you tomorrow. Bye!"
"Ohmygosh! Didja hear that? Roger's going to give us the DeVil treatment! How could he do such a thing? That's so ethically, morally, and politically wrong! Plus fur really isn't in style anymore, it clashes. Ohmygosh! My horoscope said something like this would happen... it said to keep on my guard today, something or someone from your past just may come back to haunt me."
By this time Cadpig was hyperventilating and Tripod was petting her on the back to try and keep her calm.
"Just calm down, when Rolly and Wags come by tonight we'll just get them to help us escape. We can go down to me and my friend's hide out by the far end of Hiccup Hole. We'll be safe there, and then we can cool our heels for a week and let this whole thing blow over. We'll be fine, trust me!" Cadpig and her friends weren't usually in the habit of trusting Tripod. But as of right now that seemed to be her only choice.
Chapter Three: "The Not-So-Great Escape"
"PUPPIES, DINNER!!!!!" The shrill voice of Nanny broke the silence of worry by the two dogs. They sat in silence while they choked down (eeech) dry kibble. They looked solemnly at each other. They knew if this plan didn't work they were sunk. After the kibble was gone they lapped up a whole bunch of water hoping the dry taste on their mouths would turn to gravy. They sat around and waited for Rolly to come. He would come, eventually. You must understand that Rolly isn't the most avid stair climber. Tripod was just about to give up all hope of leaving when Rolly came clumping up the stairs. He poked his nose through the doorway, and then gradually his whole head emerged.
"Is the coast clear?" Rolly whispered rather loudly.
"You do realize Rolly, that the coast you need clearing is behind you right? Because this is, you know, an empty room." Cadpig informed.
"Hehe, that's right huh?" Well at least Rolly had a good sense of humor about it. He sauntered over to the crate and unloosed the paper bag stuffed inside of his collar. Tripod and Cadpig tore open the bag to find a stale corn fritter and some Mar-o-snack treats. (Tripod's favorite) They wolfed them down {bad pun}, and thanked the portly pup profusely. Then they sat Rolly down and explained to him their situation.
"Oh no! That's awful! What can I do?" Rolly asked.
"Well you can have Wags bring us another chew toy, a HARD one. And you need to have Captain bring a bale of hay under the computer room window. Be sure he doesn't eat any of it! Got all that?" Tripod was just sure that Rolly would forget something. Rolly nodded and scampered down the stars and back to the barn.
Cadpig suddenly had a look of urgency on her face. "This might be the last time I ever get to eat a corn fritter. Why oh why did it have to be stale?!"
Tripod and Cadpig paced back and forth across the crate. Well as best you can in a tiny crate. It seemed like hours had drifted by when they heard small footsteps coming up the stairs. Wags entered the room to see an excited look on the two's faces.
"Down guys! It's only been like 15 minutes since Rolly left." Cadpig and Tripod looked at each other with disapproval. Shame on them for letting their fears get the best of them. That sort of attitude wasn't going to help them tonight. Wags settled them down and let them have it. "Ok you guys I have good news and I have bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?" After a brief discussion they decided it was best to get the bad news over with first. "Alright, Captain won't be able to get the hay until way later tonight."
"So what's the good news?" Tripod inquired.
"Uh, there is no good news. Sorry man." Wags informed.
"Awww, man! You're doggin' us right?" {another bad pun} Tripod whined.
"Sorry, i'm serious. Well is there anything else I can do?" Tripod said as long as Wags was there he could give them a hand opening the crate...
{This is real technical bear with me}
The crate lock is a box with two springs in it, one spring pushes a bar up into a hole on the top of the crate and one pushes a bar down into a hole on the bottom. The way to open the lock was to push on both springs and the bars would come loose and out of the holes and they'd be free. So Wags jimmied the hard chew toy between the floor and the bottom spring. Then Wags pushed his paw on the top spring. The door was open!
(This ends the technical part, if this makes no sense please view the diagram)
Since Cadpig and Tripod thought their 15-minute wait for Wags was long, they though the 3-hour wait for Captain was torture! Minutes slowed and the two disparaged pups tried to fill the void with any sort of game or trick they could think of. Cadpig's activities consisted of Aura Messaging, and Yoga Races. Tripod's were more consistent with his military life style. Count the Tactical Errors and Battle Tank Twister (don't ask!) were a couple that Tripod came up with.
"Tag you're it!" Cadpig snapped.
"Uhhh, Tag! You're it!" Tripod responded.
"Tag, you're it!"
"Oh, oh, tag!" It was a sad picture. They weren't even up and moving. They just sat there in their sad little crate and slapped each other shouting "Tag you're it!" Just as Tripod was tagged they heard a whinny from outside. The two pups ran to the window and hopped up with their front paw(s) on the windowsill. They saw Captain drag a bale of hay in place and quickly take a bite from the side of the bale.
"Hey! I saw that!" Tripod yelled.
"Oh yeah? Come down and tell me that!" Captain exclaimed.
Tripod glanced at Cadpig and asked, "Are you ready?"
"Yeah."
"Don't worry we're going to be ok!" Tripod assured.
"I hope so."
"Ok, 1,2,3!" They stepped off the sill and landed in the hay safely.

Chapter Four: "Ooooh, The Chase!"
As the saying goes, they hit the ground running. They barked a thank you and bye to Captain who wished them good luck. "You make your own luck!" Cadpig yelled.
"Make it good!" Captain yelled back as the two dogs ran out of sight.
After a week in a box you start to remember things. Things like, hey if you don't use your knees for a week they hurt under extreme conditions. Unfortunately running down a road for an hour counts as extreme. Tripod wasn't all that tired, which was to be expected. Cadpig was panting, panting hard! "How, how can you keep running? Be tired!" Cadpig managed to squeeze out.
"Can't, gotta keep limber." Tripod said in a flagrant jock sort of tone. Cadpig just rolled her eyes. After about another half-hour of walking Cadpig was getting a little worried. She looked up at the sky and noticed it was dusk. Nanny would be waking up soon to find they weren't in the crate. Which means that soon Roger and Anita would be looking for them.
"So you do know where we're going right?" Cadpig asked.
"Oh yeah, I go there all the time." Tripod said with assurance.
Cadpig noticed something else other than the sky. A big log had been laid by the side of the road and she saw it on their way out, thinking 'Why can't we just hide there?' Well it just so happens that they passed this log twice, and were about to pass it again.
"Good Aunt Maria! We're going in circles!" Cadpig exclaimed.
"No we... oh no!" Tripod gasped, they were. And what was worse is that they both heard a rumbling come from down the street. Since it was dusk they could see only headlights at first, Cruella's head lights. You'd notice them anywhere so round and bright. The two puppies took off running. They ran and hopped over the log Cadpig wanted to hide in. They tore past the spotted mailbox of Gruetly Farm, and headed straight to the farmhouse.
"Tripod, I know a shortcut through the garage!" Cadpig screamed. Bolting through the garage Cadpig knocked over a box. They heard the distinct sound of glass shattering. Tripod knew never to look back in a race. For some reason he did this time. He saw a burnt out headlight and 2 bulbs. The two pups ran upstairs and jumped for the crate. The momentum of the two dogs slid the crate back hitting the wall making the window close and breaking loose the jimmied chew toy.
"Whew!" they both said at once, panting hysterically.
They heard the front door open down stairs and mumbling. Then they heard the front door close, and footsteps coming up the stairs.
Both of the dogs were huddled in the corner shaking.
"Maybe he told them to go away..." Cadpig whimpered.
"I hope so." Tripod reassured.
They saw the door swing open. Roger, Pongo, and Perdita stood in the door jam looking at the two shaken pups. Pongo walked to the crate.
"Do you two know why we did this?" He inquired.
"Yes sir..." The pups said hesitantly.
"Then tell me why." Pongo said in an authoritative tone. Cadpig stepped forward. The two pups were going for sympathy.
"Because you love us, and you want to teach us that destroying things is bad, and because making people do things they don't want to do is bad, and because you love us." Cadpig said in her "sweetie pie voice"
"Yes that's right, I do love you and the other 99 pups. You need to learn things and sometimes this is a way to show you the severity of your actions. The only good is knowledge and the only evil ignorance." Pongo turned to Perdita "That was in a fortune cookie..."
"Oh Pongo." Perdita exhaled.
Pongo turned to roger and gave out a joyous bark.
"All right, all right." Roger undid the latch. "Come on out and I'll show you the puppy bus' new headlights, I got them off a Cadillac DeVille. Classy huh? I really gave that bus the DeVille treatment didn't I?"
Cadpig and Tripod looked at each other in shock. "CADILAC?!"

Epilogue: "Party Time, Excellent!"
The rest of the 97 pups (and Spot) were glad to have their two favorite friends back with them. They were so glad that they decided to throw a party for the two. After all of the excitement calmed down. Cadpig spoke up... "Hey, who wants to play a game?"

The End

About the story: This whole story was written on 8/21/99. I've had like no sleep the night before and had recently read "Truth or Dare" By Swift Fox and Two-Tone. This is the shortest fan fic I have ever written, and only my second finished. On the horoscope part I guessed at the birthdate of the pups I think i'm pretty close. Hrm anything else? Oh yes, I had a short dinner break in while writing this story and the fortune cookie Pongo quoted was my fortune that night, I liked it so much that I had to work it in!
Thanks for reading,
-John V

Email the author: maticdog@yahoo.com