Serena: Gee, Lita, it's a good thing you got your drivers licence already and bought this colorful van from that skinny guy and his dog.

Lita: Well, I figured it was time I went to go visit my Aunt Leota, who lives in a huge dark mansion somewhere in the deepest darkest depths of this dark forest

Serena: Sounds dark

Raye: This place gives me the creeps.

Mina: You're telling me! Let's say we turn around and come back here in the morning? Ya know... when it's less dark.

Lita: It's too late to turn back, now. Besides, we should just be coming up to my aunt's house any second.

Amy: There's no such thing as ghosts, anyway.

Rini: And if anything happens, we won't be afraid! (looks to Mina and Serena) Right guys?

Mina: Um.... right.

Serena: Yeah. Right.

(Car suddenly stops)

Lita: Looks like the car stopped. (looks to the back) Why don't you guys go out and look for some help?

Mina: Uh uh! No way!

Serena: Yeah! No way.

Amy: Would you do it for a Moonie Snack?

Mina: Nice try, but we can't be bought so easily.

Serena: Yeah. Give us two.

Amy: OK, two. (throws moon-shaped dog buscuts at them) Ok, now go find help

Serena, Mina, and Rini: (walk out of back of the van and start walking into the middle of the forest until they come across a small cabin.)

Mina: Hello? (knocks on cabin door) Anyone in there? I guess there's no one there, let's leave!

Old Man with long white beard: (Opens door) Well, hello there. I don't get many visitors around here... not since the Ghost of the Farming Pirate Caveman started haunting these parts.

Mina: *gulp* Joinks! A gh- gh- gho- Ghost Pirate-Caveman/Farmer?!

Rini: We're not afraid of any old farmer! Let me at him! I'll be his little nightmare in pink!

Serena: Nice talking to you (grabs Rini and runs screaming into the night with Mina)

Amy: And so you see, Lita, that sums up everything modern science knows about astro-physics... explained in a way that just about anyone can understand.

Lita: (in a haze) I have a new understanding of the universe...

Raye: Here comes Mina, Serena and Rini.

Lita: It's about time, you guys were taking too long.

Mina: (gasping for air) Man... old... ghost... woods... need... air... hair... a... mess...

Lita: uh.... Rini?

Rini: (talking quickly) Well, this really old man told us there was a ghost of some kind of pirate farmer around here in the woods.

Mina: It's probably a threat from the Negaverse!

Amy: Didn't we defeat the Negaverse SEASONS ago?

Rini: Dark Moon Kingdom?

Amy: Technically, we defeated them, even though they should still invade the Moon Kingdom in the year 3000... for continuity.

Lita: And you're saying....?

Amy: It's a badly disguised villain.

Mina: I don't really care what it is, I'm not in the fighting mood, and since they aren't evil, I suggest we should get out of here!

Lita: Come on, gang, let's go check it out

All: (hop into van. Lita gets behind the wheel and drives off)

Serena: It's weird how the van suddenly re-fueled without us getting any help, isn't it?

Raye: I guess it IS weird, isn't it?

Lita: Actually, the van doubles with an electric engine, to save the environment. So, I just transformed and gave it a nice big jolt.

Raye: I guess I didn't notice it while I went off in the woods to take a le... uh... walk with my spiritual side.

Serena: What's th- that?! (points to the road)

(A glowing transparent figure stand in the middle of the road and Lita speeds up)

All: No! AAAHHHHHH!!! (van swerves off the road)

Mina: Did we hit him?

Amy: It looked like it

Rini: (runs out and looks for the body) He disappeared.

Lita: Hey, look (points outside) We crashed at my Aunt Leota's house!

(A large black mansion with bats flying out appears from nowhere. Mysterious thunder and lightning flash)

Serena: You're aunt lives there?!

Rini: We're not sacred! Are we, Serena?

Serena: Uh... (fakingly) of course not.

(eventually, they walk in the house, to be greeted by a strange man with a hump on his back)

Man: My name is Edith...

Mina: Isn't that a girl's name?

Edith: No, Edith with a long E sound is a girl's name. I am Edith, as in Ed, Edd, and/or Eddy.

Mina: It's still a girl's name.

Edith: No it isn't. I was named after one of my relatives

Mina: Who?

Edith: My grandmother.

Serena: Then it IS a girl's name.

Edith: NO IT IS NOT! Girls: (stand in shock)

Edith: I am Ms. Kino's caretaker.

Rini: What does that mean?

Edith: I... take care... of this house. She's disappeared some time ago.

Lita: Oh no! Really?

Edith: Yes. They say the ghost got her.

Mina: I bet it's the negaverse.

Raye: It's not the negaverse!

Amy: Well, gang, it looks like we're up to our henshin pens in another mystery.

Serena: Another? When did we start solving mysteries?

King E: Since I started writing this story.

Serena: Can you go one parody story without making a cameo?

King E: ....

Serena:... well?

King E: No.

Mina: Outside?

Serena: That's the first place we'd find the ghost

Rini: Great! Then let's go out there!

Mina: I think we'll stay inside while you guys go look out.

Serena: Yeah. We wouldn't want Rini getting hurt or anything.

Rini: That's Serena for you. Always looking out for others.

Raye: (annoyed) Yeah... she's just self-less like that, I guess.

Lita: Ok, let's head out. (Lita, Amy, and Raye walk outside)

Rini: so where are we looking first?

Serena: The kitchen. You never know what evils have to be punished in there. (they walk to the kitchen)

Serena: you're telling me. And who knew there were so many types of cake that existed. Hmmm! I'm in heaven (drifts into extasy)

Rini: Oh! And the kinds of pudding. Chocolate, tapioca, tooty frooty, and this delish(delicious) mystery flavor... hmmm

Serena: Hey, weren't we suppose to help solve a mystery?

(Pirate with pitchfork jumps from nowhere)

All: Ah!

Rini: Let me at him! (Luna-P comes from nowhere) A lot of stuff comes from nowhere, doesn't it? Luna P ball magic! Make me a slingshot! (slingshot appears) Take this! (shoots small beam of light)

Ghost: (hit in forehead) Ouch. That really hurt, you know! I mean, a slingshot? Who are you? Denise the Menace? (note: I meant to put Denise, rather than Dennis) (chases them)

All: (run downstaires, to find Velm... I mean Amy, Lita, and Raye in the main hall)

Amy: Hmmm... Zinkies! A bloody knife. I sure hope your aunt is ok.

Mina, Serena, and Rini: Run! There's a ghost behind us! (ghost comes running down the stairs)

("I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by the sailors from the Lunarock CD plays in the background as the chase-music)

All: (Run to hallway with many doors and enter certain doors and come out of random ones until they are all mixed up)

Serena: (Stops) That's it. Cosmic Moon Pow... I mean Moon Cosmic Power! (turns into Sailor Moon)

Sailor Moon: ...Bishoujo Senshi: Sera Muun! Tsukini kawatte- (is Terry Hawkes available? No? Having a baby, she is? Who do we have left? Linda Ballantyne? Ah, crap... oh well...) Pretty Scout Soldier Sailor Moon! In the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!

Ghost: Where'd that girl come from who bares an incredible resemblance to the girl with the meatball hair?

Sailor Moon: Prepare to die... I mean be punished... in the name of the moon.(pulls out Holy Grail)

Amy: Didn't you lose that in the end of the S series? And aren't you suppose to be Eternal?

King E: I like this version of her better than Eternal.

Amy: One cameo too many...

King E: I'm gone (disappears)

Sailor Moon: Crisis Make... I mean Moon Crisis Power! (Turns into Super Sailor Moon)

Amy: King E, why didn't you just use Super Sailor Moon?

King E: I already used up my cameos for my next two story parodies.... ugh... but you have a good point. Let's switch to regualr super sailor moon...

Sailor moon: Ok... uh... Moon Crisis Make up... or whatever I say to transform

Super Sailor Moon: Moon Gorgeous Meditation! (puts on a huge light show)

Ghost: The light! The light! (costume disappears, leaving them in normal clothes)

Raye: (Still blinded by the light) I bet it's the caretaker that killed her

Serena (untransforming as she speaks): (also blinded) No. That old man in the woods

Mina: It's the negaverse!

Lita: It's..... (light dies down) aunt Leota?!?

Aunt Leota: Yeah, it's me. I lost my prozac and I guess I went a little crazy

Mina: So you're not from the Negaverse?

Aunt Leota: Yes, I am. I just retired.

Mina: oh...

Amy: I called the police. They should be here any second.

(cop walks through one of the many hall doors)

Cop: Funny little house. Ah, I see you've found the notorious Madam L. I'll take her into custody (grabs Aunt Leota)

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