Freedom of the press belongs to the man who owns the press.
I'll give up my guns - one bullet at the time and the bullet will be
accelerating when it leaves my hand.
Just 'cause it's the law don't mean it's going to be that way all the time.
There's room for all God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.
There's always at least one bolt on anything that's adjustable. It fits
whatever size wrench you don't have.
Folks who claim to want respect, honesty and decency but don't sign their
letters to the editor make me wonder who's being honest, decent and showing
respect.
I didn't climb my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian.
A wise man understands more than he knows.
Throwing money at a problem covers it with money. The problem stays. That
shouldn't stop you from throwing lots of money on me.
The proper reward for hard work is a request for help by someone who needs
some more hard work done.
Lots of countries have gun control laws that work - Cuba, China, Iraq, Iran,
Syria, etc.
It ain't a tax cut, tax rollback or a tax rebate unless the amount of money
I pay in taxes is less this year than it was last year.
Wisdom is to understanding as intelligence is knowledge.
It's not a food chain, it's a food circle. If it wasn't dogs wouldn't have
fleas and crabs wouldn't eat sharks.
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
Put cheese on your hamburger. No point in using only part of the cow.
Sleep, eat and go to the bathroom whenever you can. The next opportunity may
be a long way off.
If you never try an anchovy-jalopena pizza, you don't really know you won't
like it.
I'm right all the time. It's not my fault if the facts are in error.
When you get done smelling the roses, braise them in butter & garlic. Quite
tasty.
A good cook will always have a job.
Just because someone else thinks it's worth doing doesn't make it worth
doing.
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
The only people who got fired for making backups wound up running the show
when the dust settled.
Don't interpret what I say. Just quote me precisely and completely.
Grass grows in direct proportion to your willingness to mow it.
If you can make good scratch cathead biscuits without a recipe and measuring
cups, you can cook anything.
A secret shared between two people ain't.
You have one mouth, two ears and two eyes. Use 'em in those proportions.
Spending the afternoon in the swimming pool does count as taking a bath when
you are a young'un.
Vanity is for the vain.
Fish often.
Support the use of low-yield nuclear devices by your local law enforcement
agencies.
Vote. Then when you complain people may not listen but you can be smug about
having your opinion.
We the unwilling led by the unknowning have done so much for so long with so
little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
This next bit will be of interest only to people who fish.
Went bass fishing Saturday afternoon with a soft-bodied black popper with
curled legs. It has a single hook aimed up.
I got about twice as many bites as I hauled in fish, landing more than 10.
Every bass, except one, that got close enough to at least see was hooked
outside the mouth. I have a witness. The sole exception had the hook slip
between gill rakers and so it too was released with no harm done.
I'm calling the popper my Miracle Lure and I may mount it on the wall. Right
next to the radiator.
This coiumn is copyrighted to redneck bass anglers who are full of
platitudes and accountants creative enough to understand it. Unauthorized
forwarding, duplication or stretching the size of the one that got away will
result in your being forced at architeuthis point to come up with these
copyrights lines for the next dozen doses of drivel.
